I Have to Confess

In my quest to “Pull a John C. Mayer” (that sounds dirty) Jeffrey Dean Morgan, I’ve gotten..well, no where. I checked today, and I’ve already lost my slot as the number one blog that had Jeffrey Dean Morgan love. (Or whatever..you know what I mean.)  I may have to resort to drastic “Jeffrey Dean Morgan” measures. By the way, if you’re just joining the show already in progress, I suggest you’d start here, and then go here, and lastly here before you read this post. Its okay, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, his alter-ego and I will wait for you. P.S. Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Yeah, I’m totally padding the post. Deal.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is totally gonna be annoyed with me but, I’m going to come out and just say it. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is in fact two people.  Don’t believe me? Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Dude, let me just say I’m going to have to copy that whole name into my clipboard. My computer is already being an asshole about it. You sit down in front of it and automatically its like,”Shall we find some Jeffrey Dean Morgan again!?) tends to play the lovable, “Awwww..shucks” guy that you tend to root for in most of, if not all of, his movies. I mean, C’mon! Jeffrey Dean Morgan three most notable roles, when he came onto the scene, all died! If that doesn’t make you more interested in Jeffrey Dean Morgan, I don’t know what will.

Here we have Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Jeffrey Dean Morgan wanted to be a basketball player, can you believe it? Weird. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is not a basketball player because he was sidelined by a knee injury, then a star was born! Yay, us, right?

But wait a second. Who is that there at the right? That’s not Jeffrey Dean Morgan that’s someone claiming to be a one,  Javier Bardem. Javier Bardem is three years younger than Jeffrey Dean Morgan and comes from a long line of filmmakers and actors. Javier Bardem’s family has pretty much been in Spanish cinema since well…it was invented.

Wouldn’t you know it, it seems that Javier Bardem is more like Jeffrey Dean Morgan than he’d like to let on. He’s having a child with girlfriend Penelope Cruz. (Sound familiar there, Jeffrey Dean Morgan?) Time to come clean Jeffrey Dean Morgan! Time to come clean.  Its a total bait and switch! Jeffrey Dean Morgan gets to be the good guy and Javier Bardem gets to be the angsty artist. Win-win, right?

Not for us, Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Javier Bardem. I mean, what about US!? How are we supposed to feel, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, when you pull your Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine and we don’t know who to trust? Its like a set of twins trying to trick their teachers into believing they’re the other child. But, Jeffrey Dean Morgan,  that’s just not cool. I’m all for artists trying to find themselves, but c’mon! That’s just lying.

P.S. Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Yeah, I still *heart* you like theres no tomorrow.

P.P.S. You totally need to get your shit together, Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

P.P.P.S. Do me a favor, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and stop picking roles that get you killed off!

P.P.P.P.S. Yeah, I’m totally still scarred from Grey’s Anatomy. Don’t judge me, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, master of lies!

P.P.P.P.P.S. I totally still heart you, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Can you pick up some milk on your way home?