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A few things I never thought I’d say before becoming a mom…

STOP trying to get the dog to smell your butt.

No, that’s not funny if you try and toss the dog. Would you like someone to do that to you?

No. I don’t need your help with the dog. (As he was getting a haircut)

If you break your butt jumping from that, dads not going to be happy.

If you don’t do your homework, I wont let you watch Doctor Who. (This is surprisingly effective. Thanks, Doctor!)

I’m sure there will be more to come and I’m sure there are some I’m
forgetting. Its also 2am and I’m kindle posting. So. Yeah. Goodnight!

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