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Reason #410 My Ass Keeps Growing: Dexter

I’m taking the time to write this post while my daughter is at her grandmothers for the night. You see, ever since Halloween, if anything we watch has blood she proceeds to throw herself on the floor,  “fake die” and moan,”Ooooh! Bloooooodddd!”. Mommy has a migraine, and I’m just not having that at the moment. Plus, I’d rather not have to explain that to her grandmother. Uhm, Awkward!

Dexter is owned and copyrighted by Showtime. Ohhhh, Dexter.  You see, as someone who, for awhile, didn’t even HAVE CABLE (Meh, buying SHINY! THINGS! was much more important to me) for awhile, I have recently gotten into Dexter. Yeah, like I hadn’t even seen the first episode until last week. GIVE ME A BREAK, MAN! I’ve been busy.

Ok, I’m going to come clean and say that I may, or may not have seen a whole season in like two days.   That’s insanity, but yeah, there it is. All out there for everyone to see.

“Hi, my name is EvilStepMommy, and I’m an addict. An Dexter addict.”  :hangs head:

Obviously, I should have listened to people when they said I should watch it. But, back then, I was all Oh! No! Shiny! THINGS! Must have SHINY THINGS! What the hell?? How come no one ever just slapped me and drug me to their house and made me watch this? OH, that’s right. BECAUSE I’D PROBABLY HAVE NEVER LEFT. That’s ok, because look at it this way, now I can sit on my ever growing ass and watch an episode (or two, SHUT UP.), without having to wait! The awesomeness of that is just astounding. Don’t worry, I did stuff to occupy myself, because I was oh so sure that I would be dreaming blood spatter if I didn’t. (I made jewelry. Yay!)

That is until I got to the end of Season 2 on Netflix. You see, Netflix likes to boast that you can  pretty much see anything online as well as have them drop DVDs off at your home. So, here I was, happy as a clam, kid was at school, prince was sleeping (having worked a graveyard..awww.), and I tried to watch Season 3.

“Add All”.  Wait. What?? WHERE THE HELL IS THE PLAY BUTTON!? Nope. They’ve played with my emotions and now want me to have the discs sent to my home. That only means one thing. I HAVE TO WAIT? What the hell? I thought we were cool, Netflix. You see, my husband is a little weird and likes to have movies sent to the house. See? I told you. Weird.  Which is all fine and dandy but that means, I’ll have to get ONE. DISC. AT. A. TIME. :bawls: Because apparently, getting nothing but Dexter in the mail might, in fact, worry my husband just a tiny bit. Pffft. Whatevs.

Damn you, Netflix! I hope Dexter comes to visit you to ease my suffering! That’ll teach ya!

P.S. I know Aunt Becky from MommyWantsVodka is all mending from her surgery and stuff but I’m going to have to break it to her that Dexter and I are all lovey dovey and shiz.


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