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Aunt Becky does preschool…

Ok, not really. She didn’t *do* my daughters preschool, but she was there..metephorically speaking. But go here to see what its all about. Also, I apologize for the craptastic pictures, as this was also the day my digital camera decided to take a dump after like, two pictures. I’m now relying on my iPhone pictures. These are the only ones that survived. My life is *awesome*.

-ESM

———

Well, if you’re new the scene, which without a doubt you are, I did not give birth to my daughter. Shock, right? I came into Cinderella’s life as a friend. She was about 8 or 9 months old by the time I came into the scene. (Shut up!) My husband was upfront about having a child from the very beginning. Hell, during his first phone call to ask me out, he mentioned he had a child with his exwife.

We had our ups and downs with his exwife. I mean, the first time I went with him to drop off Cinderella, she called him right after and told him she was taking him to court to get his rights removed because from the walk from *my* car to her the baby had soiled herself. Literally, I know this because he checked before he left the car.

Little did I know that almost two and a half years later, with our ups and downs, would she die. She was 26! What the hell!? Normal (relatively, *ahem*) 26 year olds, don’t go to sleep one night never to wake up again. She died early on a Sunday morning, and within 4 days we had found a new house to move into, and moved in. If thats not commitment, I don’t know what is! So, I went from childless, and carefree.. to..MOM!? I mean, I’m 27, what do I know about raising a TWO YEAR OLD!? In just a few months that we’ve been a full fledged family, I can attest, that well, no, they are not ALL angels. Well, not all of the time at least. I mean, C’mon!! We all have a mental breakdown when a fly lands on us, don’t we? Wait..what? We don’t?! What do you mean, that’s not normal?!

Oops!

Oops!

Nor did I think I would fall so head over heels for this kid. While we had to deal with some set backs, we’re chuggin’ along fabulously! Now, we were told she needed to start preschool! WHAT!? Didn’t she just get here? What do you mean, SCHOOL!?

An effin' handbook!?

You see, while Cinderella is just kick-ass, she does need a little help. She wasn’t really socialized before she got to us, and well, she can’t talk. Well, not true, she can talk, you just can understand her about 40 percent of the time. She even has her own words for stuff. Yes, I know that most children do, but this is interesting stuff. For the word “water” for example, she warbles like a bird. Yep, its SO cute I almost don’t want them to help her fix it, but yeah, we’re trying.

First day of school came, and well, I think Prince Charming and I were more nervous than Cinderella was. I told her she had to go to school, and my ear drum about burst with the screams she let out. I had totally thought,”Well, she doesn’t understand what is happening, and omg, WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA VOMIT!?”

Prince Charming, being the Prince that he is, decided to go all out, and treat Cinderella and I to breakfast seeing how it was such a special day. I mean, who DOESNT want to eat chicken strips and french fries at 9am? I totally, at this point, still feel like vomiting. Just saying…

Gotta love that side eye she's giving the camera, right?

Gotta love that side eye she's giving the camera, right?

After trying to get her to finish eating for the UMPTEENTH TIME (!), we ran home to get her cleaned up and lunch packed and all that situated. Oh, and get my husband ready for work as well, did I mention how my life is *awesome*? We totally didn’t prepare for the first day like we should have.. yet, that’s not surprising! Anyone who knows us, should have seen that coming from a mile away! Lets put it this way, I totally timed myself when I drove to orientation, because I know how random we are.

Stop laughing at my crappy name fix!

Stop laughing at my crappy paint shop name fix!

You see that hair pin there? I made that hair pin like 5 years ago, for my dads 50th birthday party because it was a Hawaiian themed gig. Well, little miss Cinderella LOVES this silly ugly thing. Its totally what I found at the bottom of her backpack after school that day. I guess she was just a bit more nervous than what she was letting on, because it is her comfort thing here lately. But yes, we all survived. My husband and I both were total parents and didn’t cry or anything. OK OK, I totally got a bit misty..but I held together.

I didn’t earn my Evil Step Mother status for nothin’.

-ESM

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4 responses »

  1. Dude. The stink eye she’s giving the camera is freaking hilarious.

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » Aunt Becky Travels The World And Does Stuff.

  3. Awww preschool, Aunt Becky, AND chicken strips. I want to go to preschool too!
    *HUGS*

    Reply
  4. Pingback: Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » The Hamptons Are Pretentious Unless You Invite Me Along.

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